Tonight, my thoughts keep going back to parenting. I’m by no means an expert, but I do come with quite a few years of experience. I’ve been a mom for almost 30 years. If you added up all my parenting experience, I’ve had about 133 years of parenting under my belt (that would be 9 kids times their ages, give or take a few years on some). Just that thought wows me.
I’ve potty trained 9 times, taught 8 kids to read, and taught 4 to drive a car. I’ve seen multiple grandbabies be born. I’ve attended two of our kids weddings. I’ve kissed booboos, sat in hospital rooms, and prayed for them more times than could ever be recorded. I’ve listened to broken hearts, big fears, and huge dreams.
What never ceases to amaze me is what comes easy and what is so hard as a parent. When the doctor handed me my first daughter, a whopping 10 lb, 1 oz and 23-inch-long baby, I was in awe. She had beautiful black hair that stood on end. She was squishy and cuddly and so sweet. I felt so much pride in my girl. I read every parenting book I could get my hands on and tried so hard to “do it all right”. I probably did more of it wrong than right, but if you get points for trying then it counts for something I guess.
My next child came 3 years and 3 months later, a baby boy. By the time he arrived, I had more confidence as a mom, yet still a very young mom. I was already homeschooling my daughter in Kindergarten. She was super smart, talked like an adult, and read very early. She had many talents, loving to draw and create, and later becoming a pianist. My son was very easy going, a very loving easy baby. He slept through the night, took his time with everything he did. He never fussed much being generally happy.
Our third child, also a son came along a little over two years later. He too was a happy baby. He loved things clean, would pick up his own toys at an early age. He adored his mom and daddy. He was perfectly content to be our baby forever. However, 6 years later, our 2nd daughter was born at home. She was greeted by her older sister who fell in loved right away. A precious picture I have of the two of them is moments after birth when big sis is rocking baby sis in my room.
Just 2 more years and baby number 5, another girl came into our home. She was also born at home to a room filled with her grandma and great grandma. Everyone was in awe of this sweet blond girl…the first! She was the prize to be held by all the siblings. She was so loving and enjoyed being cuddled all the time. When she was just 1 yr old, we moved to our current home, our farm.
Somewhere around 18 months later, sister number 4 arrived as our first and only “farm baby”. She was tiny, very shy and stayed close to her momma and daddy’s arms. She too stole the hearts of her siblings, especially her big brothers. After she was 3 years old, I had a miscarriage, then went on to have SJ, sister number 5. We went to a hospital in the city to have her. She had some lung issues from the start and was transported by ambulance to Children’s hospital NICU. She stayed for 10 long days, before we got to bring her home. From that point on she has been one of our healthiest kids.
When SJ was 2 years and 9 months, a cute “Little Man” arrived, also having lung issues. He too was transported to Children’s, being admitted to the NICU… but being placed in the same room and even the same bed as SJ. The nurses remembered us from the previous stay two years earlier. He stayed there 19 days. He had a lumbar puncture, blood cultures, and so much more. We learned to read the monitors and access how he was from all we went through. After he came home, he too was very healthy.
Little Man anxiously awaited to become a big brother to a precious little sister, Amelia Joy, when he was 2 years and 9 months old. He was so little, yet already taking care of her. We found him offering her a cheese stick the day we brought her home because he was sure she was hungry. We also caught him climbing in her bassinet to sleep with her and ‘keep her safe’. He adored miss Millie from the start.
Now with all that parenting experience, you would think I knew what I was doing or had at least some idea, right? Nope, I’m still learning. I do know that each child is so different. What works with one, will fail with the next miserably!
I thought the baby years of 3 kids, six and under were my hard days…. Or maybe the days of homeschooling elementary and middle school kids while keeping toddlers and babies busy were the hard years? However, again I’m still learning that each age has it’s own hard stuff. Right now the teen years are the hardest. Not because we have bad kids… not even because there are 3 teen girls in the house, but rather because the teen years require heart stuff. SO many feeling… so many opinions… so many decisions… so much growing up… so much independence.
When they were toddlers if I wanted them to do something, I simply picked up their bodies and moved them to the desired location. Don’t want to take a nap? Too bad and down you go. Now of days it’s more talking them through making their own decisions and making them with confidence. It’s allowing them to fall and fail, knowing that I’ll need to be here when they get back up. It is training adults to do adult things…. Work, balance money, be responsible, following through on commitments, and being kind. Heart issues are so much harder! At least for now….
It’s easy to look back and wish for the ‘good old days’, especially the days when Millie was still here, when the big ones still lived at home, when the teens were little girls playing with dolls and tea sets. Memories are a wonderful thing to have and I’m so grateful for them, yet I’m so excited to see where my kids are going. The decisions they will make, the mistakes and the success. The lives they will build. I’m cherishing every moment!
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