My mind is tired tonight. It has been a full but busy day of homeschooling and then church this evening. I have been working on teaching Little Man to help me in the kitchen more. This week he has learned to run the coffee pot and has found great joy in making mom a pot of fresh coffee each morning. I also showed him how easy it was to cook French Toast. He has requested it every morning this week, if only for the fact that I am standing close but allowing him to prepare and cook it independently. He has enjoyed the taste of his own success!
SJ helped her daddy cover all the plants in his garden with drinking cups from the hard frost we got last night. When they removed them this afternoon some of the cups had blown off and he ended up losing part of his plants. I do not know if he will replant, but he does have more starts in the kitchen waiting to be transplanted in the ground. When we first moved to the farm, we gardened every year. The last few years we just bought our fresh produce from the farm stand that our teen girls worked at. It sold recently, but the new owners are also good friends of ours so we will continue buying from them. I did not enjoy fresh produce until I was an adult. I ate canned fruit and veggies but had no idea how to cook fresh ones. I now enjoy the local ones we can purchase with so much flavor instead of the grocery store bland tasting varieties.
When we were young, we were city people completely. After marriage, we knew we wanted to raise our kids out in the country. We often drove for long hours just looking at properties and small towns as we dreamt about them being our future home. When we found this property, we had been married 15 years. We were ready for a change! We worked repairing the house for 9 months on the weekends. We moved in over Thanksgiving weekend 2006. As soon as spring came, we jumped into farm life with both feet. We had dairy goats to be milked (by Joshua), chickens for eggs (Joseph’s job), a large garden (us and the little kids), and much more. It was pretty time consuming. David also started his own Heat and Air company after a few years. Then 10 years ago he shut the business and moved to his current employer which has allowed him to have a more scheduled workday. When you own your own business, you often work a lot! I was grateful when this opportunity presented itself. The company has been such a blessing to us through Millie’s illness.
I have two big projects I am working to complete right now. Preparing for a trip we will take this spring, planning meal, making lists. I also am working on Katherine’s high school graduation stuff. It is amazing to see our 4th child being at the point of her childhood education ending. She plans to join her daddy at his work after graduation. She also will continue to build her photography business. She continues to book multiple photo shoots a week even having to turn them down so she can buckle down these last few weeks of school. What a blessing to see a young woman know what she wants to do in life, set her goals, and then work toward them.
Maggie is patiently waiting her opportunity to take her driving test and earn her license in a few months. She already has an older “grandma car” waiting for her in the driveway. For now, she enjoys driving it with her permit and a parent in the front seat.
Abby goes to the Orthopedic doctor tomorrow so he can evaluate her hand. She is not healing and is still in a lot of pain with any movement. The temporary cast from the ER is not cutting it as far as immobilization of her thumb bone and wrist. Please pray the doctor sees a clear direction tomorrow.
In all of this the gaping hole in our full lives is the quiet missing of our girl. In each area there is an emptiness where before she filled it with life. When I woke up at 2 am this morning, I glanced toward her shelf and something on it was glowing. I had not placed anything new there and had not noticed the glow before. Last night though, it caught my attention and brought a sweet smile to my face. It was her G-Tube bear that she was given when Child Life was teaching her about what a Gtube was before her placement surgery. This bear has a glow in the dark button. The ones that glow are so helpful for nighttime feeds. Millie had her tube replace 3 or 4 times, but only once was she ever given a glowing button. I would glance over to her bed and catch sight of her little belly while she slept with that small glowing light. One night she noticed it too and I remember her asking me about it although our exact conversation escapes me.
Now I do not believe that glow was a sign from Millie showing us she is still with us. I believe she is fully and firmly in heaven with our Lord and Savior. She has no reason to turn back to this life. No, I view it as precious memories that are sparked and then remembered in the mundane and everyday things of life. Another one that often reminds me is seeing a butterfly. It calls to my mind and makes me think of her little life changing, unfolding, and ultimately becoming beautiful all in God’s timing. He redeems and restores what is destroyed. He comforts us who mourn. He gives crowns of beauty where only ash remains. He gives the oil of joy and a garment of praise. All of this is to his GLORY and in his timing.
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” Ecclesiastes 3:11
“The Spirit of the Lord GOD is on Me,
because the LORD has anointed Me
to preach good news to the poor.
He has sent Me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim liberty to the captives
and freedom to the prisoners,
2 to proclaim the year of the LORD’s favor
and the day of our God’s vengeance,
to comfort all who mourn,
3 to console the mourners in Zion—
to give them a crown of beauty for ashes,
the oil of joy for mourning,
and a garment of praise for a spirit of despair.
So they will be called oaks of righteousness,
the planting of the LORD, that He may be glorified.
Isaiah 61:1-3
Blessings sweet friends…
｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
I still believe in Millie’s Miracle
｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ Hebrews 11:1 ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
︵‿︵‿୨☆୧‿︵‿︵
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