My daily devotional book says “Joy comes in the morning”. A constant reminder that we wait in anticipation for the start of new things. The morning holds the fresh newness that today has lost. In a spiritual sense, the morning is when a new life starts in heaven. What we view as a horrible day, the day Millie closed her eyes here on earth, was truly the best day of her life. The day she met Jesus! Read that again...the worst day of my life was the best day of her life
My stomach has a heavy feeling tonight. An anxious pit of anticipation. Today, I wrote Millie’s book. It’s not finished and it’s not ready for other eyes, but it is laid out page by page. It tells the story of a little girl searching for a big miracle. It’s a children book to be read to other children. I also worked on the adult devotional that you have encouraged me to complete. It too is outlined, waiting for the moment of inspiration to take off. So many things to anticipate in our life. So much to be grateful for, yet the dread of waiting to see Millie again in heaven often leaves me with wet cheeks and an aching heart. To miss your child so intensely is to miss a part of your own heart. It is not easy. It is moment by moment, memory upon memory, wish upon wish, prayer upon desperate prayer that the Lord sustains me as I wait.
Prayers:
Tonight I ask for prayer for my momma friends that have a child in heaven. My heart is so heavy as I pray for them (and myself). Grief is so individual. Some seem fine (they are not), some are overwhelmed, some are just trying to get to the next morning. All of us are waiting with anticipation for that day when we will see our child again.
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