Dear Friends,
I feel like I
have been a little out of the loop this week.
It has been a few days since I have checked in. Some of those days were pretty
emotional. On Thursday I spent the day
writing Millie’s story for a grief class that I am taking on Sunday
Evenings. Even though I share her story
and share it often, the details especially the last days are filled with tears
as I struggle to transparently share the pain yet protect my heart from getting
too overwhelmed.
On Friday, as
Katherine and I headed to Missouri, I received a call that they were setting
Millie’s headstone at the grave that day.
We had ordered it back in October, it was promised to be ready by
Christmas yet after being remade three different times it took until the end of
February to finally be ready to take to the cemetery. They texted me the
completed picture, but I have not gotten a chance to go and look it over myself
yet.
Once we
arrived, we stayed in a stylish Air B&B that Katherine had found. It was so clean and cute, yet cheaper than a
hotel. We enjoyed our stay… did not
sleep well, but that became its own blessing in disguise. As we laid in bed talking at 2 am, she shared
the many videos off of her cell phone of Millie. I had never seen most of them. Each is precious, but more so because
Katherine could always get Millie to do funny, quirky things that really showed
her personality. In one Katherine makes
a funny face, then Millie makes the same one…then another funny face and
another mimic. Over and over… How Millie’s
sisters loved her!
Saturday Katherine’s
Club Volleyball team played hard and we thought they would make it into the
championship game however a mere 2 points gave them the 3rd place
spot. After the tournament we drove home
in thick fog, arriving about 11 Saturday night.
On Sunday
morning, I was still struggling with a host of emotions as I headed to church
and then proceeded to sob during half the Sunday School class. My joy was soon regained though when I
arrived in the Sanctuary to see two pews full of Mount people! We had 4 daughters, 3 sons, a daughter-in-love,
and two grandkids all attend with us.
Abby sang the special music and we all enjoyed being together. At home afterwards we enjoyed Sunday lunch
and board games. Time spent as a family
is always fun!
On Monday, a
friend came out to the farm to visit and helped me rearrange my bedroom so that
I could begin to decorate Millie’s memory shelf. Our brother-in-law built a beautiful custom
shelf just as I asked that was designed to hold all her belongings. It was so good to see her little green boots
again. I carefully and thoughtfully
placed her bears wearing her cancer bows, her pins, pictures, babies, books and
so much more. It is my happy shelf that
is filled with memories of Millie’s precious life with us.
Lyndell Bryce at Bryce’s
Custom Cabinets & Trim - (405)802-3963
I encourage you to search his FB page and give
him a like as our thank you for helping us celebrate Millie’s life. He owns a custom cabinet business, and I would
love to share his info if you are in the need of cabinets around central
Oklahoma.
Overnight
Sunday, Maggie was in severe pain and seemed to be exhibiting gallbladder
issues. Her Doctor had already scheduled
an ultrasound to see if she had stones for this week, but when she woke up this
morning the pain was so bad we decided Daddy would take her to Children’s Hospital
to be checked out. We had not stepped
foot into the hospital since last June when Millie was sent home on
hospice. It was an emotional day that
needed to be covered by a lot of grace.
They ran multiple tests, ultrasound and x-ray, blood test and gave her
an IV. The decided that she had an ovarian
cyst rupture, causing the pain and nausea.
She has to go back in 6 weeks for a repeat to evaluate if the area has
healed. We are so grateful that her
issues were minor, although the pain was not.
Tomorrow we
go for the orthodontist appointments for 2 girls, then on to the oral surgeon
for a consult to complete a needed surgery that has been getting pushed back
for a while. It seems like life gets so
rushed, that we forget to continue to do the little things we so need to
accomplish. The thing that I let go
often is my study time and my writing time.
I just run out of minutes in my day to sit and concentrate. The thing I want to do that gives me strength
gets laid aside while often the life draining tasks demand attention. However even in the rushed and busy times, I
know God is still there speaking in that still small voice. My job is to listen…
Yesterday as
I was cleaning and rearranging my room, I looked at a pretty blue candle that I
have owned for probably 8 years. It always
sits up on a gold candle holder. However,
to keep it ‘fresher’ I guess, I had never removed the plastic outer wrapping. As
I looked at that candle I could hear the Lord saying, “That candle will never
reach its full potential to be who I created it to be because it never gets out
of the safe zone.” True, my candle stayed ‘cleaner’ by not
opening is up and taking risks, but it did not live up to what it was created
to be. It could never carry a flame or
do anything more than stay protected in its own little area. It was WORTHLESS! It was not useable. It simple was waiting until it was time… but
WHEN?
Do not waste
your life with so many useless years that you are waiting. Choose to live now… Do not think, “When my job changes” “When I
get married” or any host of other reasons why NOW will not work to make
changes. God wants us sharing his word
NOW! He wants us to have eternal focused eyes NOW, not late in life when we
think death is close. Before June 2020,
I did not think death was close. I had
no idea it stood with one calendar page away from changing our lives
forever. Life is so short… 3 years with Millie
was short, but even if I had her here for 60 it would never be enough for my
heart to let go without the pain. Instead,
I will share her story that points to Jesus.
My light, my candle will shine.
Will you unwrap your candle and share the light of Christ too?
𝗟𝗲𝘁 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗹𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 𝘀𝗼 𝘀𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝗲𝗻, 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘆 𝗺𝗮𝘆 𝘀𝗲𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗴𝗹𝗼𝗿𝗶𝗳𝘆 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗙𝗮𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗰𝗵 𝗶𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝘃𝗲𝗻. 𝗠𝗮𝘁𝘁𝗵𝗲𝘄
𝟱:𝟭𝟲
Blessings
sweet friends…
｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
I still
believe in Millie’s Miracle
｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ Hebrews 11:1 ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
︵‿︵‿୨☆୧‿︵‿︵
#MilliesMiracle
#Forever3
#WithJesus
#Neuroblastoma
#ChildhoodCancer
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