The last two weeks have been times of change and adjustment in our family. Every time I get “comfortable” I am pushed right back out of my comfort zone.
Over Spring Break we did home renovations. David spent 3 days under the house leveling and reinforcing the weak spots in our floor. It was quite a big job but he is always so faithful to work hard and not complain.
By Thursday we were ready to start the next project. We needed to add an extra bedroom. One of our current bedrooms was very large. We had built it with the idea that it would hold enough beds for all our girls. Now that we have teen girls though it has been better to give them some individual space. We took that large room and built a wall down the middle making two smaller rooms. The work to empty out the room, then the ensuing chaos of the next two days was exhausting. Honestly, I cried from both being overwhelmed but also having to relinquish my grasp on more dreams that I held deep in my heart.
Years ago, I bought a large horseshoe shaped table for all the kids to sit around while we worked on school each day. Many years I had 4-5 children around it. One was always a hanging high chair for the toddler. Last spring I ordered 3 new padded chairs so that when school started in August all three little kids would have a nice school chair. SJ is in 3rd, Little Man in 1st, and Millie would have done Pre-K. I gradually have gotten rid of most of my preschool school books knowing I won’t need them again. But that chair...her chair...got pushed over to the desk becoming the desk chair instead. The horseshoe table is too big for just us 3 to use and dividing the room took the space it usually sits in. David and I agreed to sell it and order a new one that is rectangular instead. After we agreed I headed to my closet to cry... tears that come from all the changes as life moves forward. As my thoughts walk through things that will never be the same. —-Have I pointed out I am not a big fan of change??
We each have our own seats at the table and in the car. If I find shoes or clothing I like, I have been known to buy it in multiple colors. I have things like towels, sheets, and dishes color coded in our home. My last three vans have been the same thing. I rebuy what I like. I like having a plan and following it. Being organized and trying to be flexible at the same time is challenging. The changes brought in 2019, but especially 2020 leaves me unsettled. 2021 has been a year of adjusting to the wreckage of last year!
Right now I am working to embrace the changes and grow in flexibility. These things bring so much growth opportunity if I can keep my eyes forward facing and on Jesus.
Proverbs 16:9 “A man's heart plans his way, But the Lord directs his steps.”
My prayer, “Help me Lord to be open to your leading.”
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･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟﾟ★ ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
I still believe in Millie’s Miracle
｡･:*:☆ Hebrews 11:1 ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ★｡･:*:︵‿︵‿୨☆୧‿︵‿︵｡･:*
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