I am really tired this week. Exhaustion magnifies my grief in ways that it brings every emotion closer to the surface. As I try to write more of Millie's story tonight, I am taken back to the last time I wrote. Honestly, it has been a week or two. My brain and heart needed a break from reliving the painful walk through Millie's last days. Here is an excerpt from the spot I left off...
----Telling Millie’s story is so important. There are so many things in this story that are good and right. Things that point to Jesus, who is bigger and more faithful than I could ever be. Things that point to the salvation that only he offers us through his death on the cross. What these things cannot do is erase the pain. They do not ease the ache, as I remember my time with Millie walking through cancer. These things do not keep me from wishing that her story was somehow written differently. Or that I could share a happier story instead of the one I am recounting. Instead, the one I am sharing will forever be burned into my heart. Today it hurts! I hurt! I tell this story though my broken, tattered heart but a heart that is still clinging to Jesus---
I pray this story brings all Glory to God. I pray it points towards him. I pray it brings others to salvation. The cost to hold this story in our hearts was devastatingly great. The cost to share it with others is astronomical. The debt was paid in our tears. I pray it is a blessing to all it touches.
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