Grief is a tied up and twisted around

 It has been a tough week for me both emotionally and physically. I share that not for sympathy, but for transparency and truth. This walk is tough! Sometimes I am patted on the back for how ‘well I am doing” when in reality any progress in me is simply my faith in Christ Jesus. I miss Millie every day, multiple times a day. I spend my fair share of time in tears, but I do not stay there. I dry my eyes, wipe my face, stand back up and start again. Some days I can go the rest of the day without crying but other times I will start again in just a few minutes. Grief is like that….it is not a straight shot to some ‘magical’ healing. It is a pot filled with spaghetti noodles of emotions tied up, twisted around, a never ending MESS that gets easier to navigate but never goes away. If it were not for my faith, where would I be?!?

It warms my heart to see how many people care for our family and miss our sweet girl’s antics. She lived so much life! She was funny, sassy, and cuddly depending on the moment. I can still hear her calling my mom on the phone saying “Grundma can you come see me today?” I remember her telling me she would be kind to her sister at each hospital stay. I fondly remember her calling Little Man in play “Come on Woofie!” as she pretended like he was her dog. He would bark appropriately, pant with his tongue hanging out, and follow her on hands and knees. He misses that so much!

“Millie” Miss Amelia Joy brought our family immense amounts of happiness and JOY. Tonight, I am going to share a fun video of her being silly and laughing. I love her baby voice and the fact that she thought she was so funny! What a blessing rolled up into a little girl on loan for 3 years.