Over 17 years ago, I met a cute little boy in church. His family went on to become our family friends. Tonight I was honored to host he and his intended's wedding shower. To protect their privacy, I changed their names to bride and groom, but here is what I shared. May you glean some of God's direction for Husbands and Wives from the scriptures shared.
***Passages are taken from “Created to be His Helpmeet” page 21 and paraphrased from Chapter 1. I highly recommend this book to every wife. I am currently holding a weekly study in our home with other wives as we strive to learn how to honor our husbands.
November 17, 2020
To the man:
I speak to you as a mother, not spiritual teacher. I feel like you are another one of my sons and I hope I forever hold a spot as second mom to you and your siblings.
I remember a boy full of mischievous deeds….
• A boy who instead of getting in the car for church, snuck to the barn and spray painted the barn, himself, and his glasses green.
• A kid who was caught shimming across my barn peak just because I forgot to ask him to stay off it.
• A young man who had to learn a lesson of obedience the hard way when he shot the van window out with a slingshot and had to work off the consequence.
I have seen you grow into a hardworking man. You have grown to be a responsible for both yourself and others. I see in you a protector, willing to lay his life down for his bride. I would like to admonish you with the following scripture and ask you to take them to heart as you step into the role of Husband.
Ephesians 5:25-28
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing[b] her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”[c] 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
I humbly come to you as an older wife to a soon to be new bride. In Titus 2:3-5 it says:
3 Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. 4 Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, 5 to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God
To the woman:
God’s Gift to Man
God gave Adam the most precious gift a man will ever receive- a woman.
Genesis 2:18 “The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” And then God “brought her unto the man” (Gen 2:22). Later, he tells us, “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the Lord” (Proverbs 18:22). Do you see? God says it is not good for a man to be alone, and the answer to his need is a wife – called “a good thing.” Furthermore, a man obtains God’s favor by getting a wife.
If you are a wife (or soon becoming one!), you were Created to fill a need, and in that capacity, YOU ARE A GOOD THING, a helper suited to the needs of a man. This is how God created you and it is your purpose for existing. You are, by nature, equipped in every way to be your man’s helper. You are inferior to none as long as you function within your created nature, for no man can do your job, and no man is complete without his wife. You were created to make him complete, not to seek personal fulfillment parallel to him. A woman trying to function like a man is a ridiculous as a man trying to be like a woman. A unisex society is a senseless society ---a society dangerously out of (Biblical) order.
When you are a help meet to your guy, you will be a helper to Christ, for GOD commissioned him for a purpose and gave him you to assist in fulfilling that divine calling. When you honor him, you honor God. When you obey him, you obey God. The degree to which you reverence him is the degree to which you reverence your Creator. As we serve our husbands, we serve GOD. But in the same way, when you dishonor your husband, you dishonor God.
1 Corinthians 11:8-9
” For man did not come from woman, but woman from man; 9 neither was man created for woman, but woman for man.”
Four thousand years after creation, Paul, Timothy, and Peter wrote to us telling us God’s original plan was still the same as it was in the beginning when Adam and Eve were first learning how to be husband and wife. Now, two thousand years since Paul’s teaching, amazing as it seems, God still has not changed his mind. Regardless of who you are or what your talents may be, God’s will is that you be a suitable helper to your husband. Paul says, “But she that is married cares for the things of the world, how she my please her husband” (1 Cor. 7:34)
I know as I read that it goes against everything we are taught as women today. What man really deserves to be treated like that? Why does he deserve a help meet? Because you can only realize your womanhood when you are functioning according to your created nature. To desire his role of leadership is to desire something that will not make GOD, YOU, or your husband happy. It is not a question of if you can do a better job, it is simply whether you are doing what God designed you to do. This in no way makes you inferior or less than him. Instead it focuses your mind, heart, and actions on following God’s will for your life. It frees you from trying to be who God designed HIM to be.
May God bless you and Keep you as you start your married life together.
May He make his face shine upon you daily and be gracious to you as you learn together.
May He lift his countenance upon your marriage and may he fill it with peace.
~adapted from Number 6:24-26~
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