Going with the idea that as an ‘older’ lady I should be mentoring younger women, I started a book study last week. This study spans many ages because being a younger woman does not always mean younger in age. It could also mean a woman who has been married less time, been a mother for fewer years, or became a Christian sometime after I did. There is always someone in the trenches behind us who could use encouragement and mentoring.
We are currently reading a marriage book in our study. I am so excited! Even after being married 30 years, I still enjoy learning how to improve my marriage and bless my husband. I do not always do it right and it usually relates back to my attitude. When my attitude gets sour and I meditate on those feelings, my actions are soon to follow. Scripture has much to say about our attitudes.
Proverbs 23:7a “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he:”
Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any praise, think on these things."
Once my actions start to follow I can be found giving the ‘silent treatment’, shutting cabinets a little too loudly, or sighing as I sulk around the house. My actions follow the lies I have chosen to believe… “I should not be treated like this” “No one else works around here” or “If they appreciated me, they would do what I wanted”. Satan is crafty. He causes us to meditate on wrong thought instead of speaking to ourselves LOUD AND CLEAR! NO! Warning! Those thoughts are lies.
2 Corinthians 10:5 ‘Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;”
The reason we are to take every thought CAPTIVE in obedience to Christ is because we are so swayed by our imaginations. The above scriptures say, “Casting down”, meaning get rid of it. I can imagine throwing it on the floor and stomping it. These false ideas are trash. They exalt themselves in our mind masquerading as truth. So how can you tell the difference between truth and a lie? You have to be discerning!
Hebrews 4:12 “For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.”
When you can evaluate what you believe in the light of scripture, you can start to discern or pick out the truth. You can evaluate people’s thoughts and actions. You can understand that if a person does not know Christ then how can you expect them to live by Godly standards? We all expect people to live morally and follow the rules “Don’t steal, kill, lie” but we often attribute that to the 10 Commandments of God and them expect them to also live as Christians. Reality is everyone ‘expects’ morality, but that does not make them a Christian. Giving their lives to Jesus, following him in both belief and actions makes you a Christian. That is not to say that we will not mess up. We will! We are all sinners, but if we are saved by grace, we feel conviction. We cannot be okay with our sin. We will seek to make restoration.
Marriage should be very similar. We should not live in odds of one another. We should seek to make restoration. Christ desires that we have glorious marriages. He even compares the church to being his bride. If taking a bride was such a bad thing, then I doubt he would have called his chosen people by that name.
Proverbs 18:22 “He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.”
I am a firm believer that marriage is one of the most difficult things we ever enter in to. Not in the same sense as losing your child. That is grief! I am not comparing the two. I voluntarily entered into marriage but had no choice as to when my baby would go to heaven. What makes marriage so difficult is that it becomes a complete and total mending of hearts. You and your spouse become as one. You think of their good before you think of your own. You must lay your selfish desires aside and think of the other person. While the commitments are similar to parenthood, the differences are that the marriage commitment is for life. With our children, we cheer over each accomplishment and know we are training them to need us less as the years go by. Marriage on the other hand actually has us needing each other more as the years progress.
It makes me think of my grandmother. She cared for my grandfather by herself for years, feeding, leading, and cleaning up after him as the dementia set in. At the very end we joined it to relieve her from the sheer exhaustion, but up until that point she alone had fulfilled that marriage commitment.
Proverbs 31:10-11
10 “A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.”
That is my heart’s desire to be a Godly wife and mother. One who follows the leading of the spirit, the word of God so that my life truly reflects JESUS.
Matthew 26:41 “Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” Jesus knew in the garden that even though our spirits are willing, we are often so weak. He understands 
Blessings friends! May God give you strong relationships based on HIS WORD.
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