Dear Friends,
Recently, I had a shot of encouragement show up in the form of rereading an older journal I had written many years ago. Every few months, I had penned a heartfelt prayer usually in desperation, about how the relationships in our family were going. These were words I could say to no one but Jesus. They were written of great fears, huge disappointments, extreme worries, humble failures, and desperate pleas. I wrote about things that I was sure could never be used for God’s glory…
And yet…
Ten years later, God has redeemed those days. At that time, I had two teenage sons ages 16 and 14 and life felt difficult. Please do not mistake my words. They were not ‘bad’ kids, but they were finding their way as teens and it was not always pretty. I have never been as relational with teens as I am with preschoolers. I have to work to be interested, invested, and inviting to them. If it has been a few years since you have had a teenager you might have forgotten how most every word that parents say elicits a sigh followed by an eye roll. If it is a teen boy though it sounds more like a mumbled complaint and stomping feet. As I think back to those days everything I wanted to instill in them, every ethic I wanted to impart in them all seemed to be slipping by and not soaking in. I was worried! My mind often filled with questions if I was ruining them for life?
However, in the last 10 years of our sons lives, the Lord has restored what I feared the locust were rampantly eating.
Joel 2:25
“So I will restore to you the years that the swarming [a]locust has eaten,
The crawling locust,
The consuming locust,
And the chewing locust,
My great army which I sent among you.”
These boys have grown to be men. They are men that love JESUS. They are men of CHARACTER. They are men that hold high MORAL STANDARDS in their lives. They are motivated, hard workers. They study to do new things. They work to provide for their households. One holds his wife and family so dear while diligently training and providing for them. The other reserves himself as he waits and prepares for his (someday) wife and family. Watching each of them deal with Millie’s diagnosis, her demands, her physical sickness, and her need to be with them thrilled my heart. One little girl reached way deep into her brothers’ hearts and firmly planted herself there. I have seen them show compassion to her every step of her journey all the way to the gates of Heaven. I have seen them allow her to do things they would never do for another (you know tough guys right?). The Lord has used them to be the hands and feet of Jesus to her and I will forever be grateful.
Next I found a journal entry from just a few years ago, again expressing those same fears and worries. Those same desperate midnight prayers. Those same tears being shed and the wondering if we would get through it. This time it was over a teen daughter. The attitudes, misunderstandings, and disagreements were not very different than they were eight years prior with our boys. Yet once again, God was faithful to grow and mature her into a woman who loves him with all her heart. She is a woman of good character. One who is trustworthy, hardworking, responsible, motivated, and filled with initiative to achieve her goals. She had a heart of love for Millie, constantly doing funny things to make her life enjoyable. She has learned of heartache and how-to walk-through grief long before anyone should. To lose a baby sister, to navigate the grief, and to continue on planning out her own life in the middle of the chaos has been challenging.
Psalm 66:10 “For You have tried us, O God; You have refined us as silver is refined.”
James 1:2 “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, when you encounter trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Allow perseverance to finish its work, so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”
The refining fire our family has walked through, the reminder that God will restore, and the JOY we find when we see the fruit in our children are the things that help us hang on in the tough times. With 3 teens now, two that will soon be there, and one sweet blessing that missed those rough years completely, I am sure I will be looking back at today’s journal entry and reminding myself… “See it will work out for God’s Glory. See it is not all for naught. See in due time we will reap. Remember where our greatest joy really comes from…”
3 John 1:4 “I have no greater joy than to hear that my children walk in truth.”
Blessings sweet friends…
｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
I still believe in Millie’s Miracle
｡･:*:･ﾟ☆Hebrews 11:1 ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
︵‿︵‿୨☆୧‿︵‿︵
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