Dear Friends,
If you show up here each day it is pretty clear what my writing centers on. A belief and relationship with Christ, Our Family, Millie and our Grief journey, Relationships with others (Friends), and an odd assortment of random topics of things that flit in and out of my brain through out my day. I often think “I need to share that” but before I get it written down it fades away into the foggy spaces in my brain. I will grab my phone and make a keyword note to remind me, but you would laugh when often that does not even jog this tired brain. Grief causes such a fog to envelop us. It must be our body’s way to soften the world around us, blur the lines, and numb us to more pain.
I received a beautiful gift today… in the form of a Poptart box. After reading my woes about the Brown Sugar Poptart fiasco in our home,
this friend showed up with a double box of CHERRY…my kiddos dream! Like any good mom, I promptly let them have a package for dinner WITH their other food of course, minus the vegetables. It was date night for Daddy and me. On those nights we skip the good nutrition in favor of fast and fun for kids.
This same friend brought me another gift. The gift of her presence. She came, listened, cried, shared, and bonded with my heart. We have only known each other a short time but I would dare say we will be friends for a lifetime even if we never see each other again. There is some comradery found in two mothers who are both grieving the loss of their precious children, while resting in the knowledge that they are with Jesus.
Right now, relationships with people are a top priority. I am driven to invest in the lives of others while allowing others to get close enough to minister to me. That is an important statement… I have to LET others get close enough to minister to me. WHY? Because it is all too easy to withdrawal, to turn my focus inward, to let my thought simmer and start to drown me. If I allow others in, I am allowing them the opportunity to walk this journey with me. Any journey walked together is always more fun than a solo mission. We NEED People! It is the same for others. If they allow me a peek into their hearts, then maybe I can ease their burden ever so slightly. Not because I can give a solution or a fix, no one can fix your child dying! Rather because my shoulder has that familiar comfort of someone who has walked this road, knows some of the mire, and is willing to journey along side of them.
Life is lonely in grief. It is lonelier in the current times of quarantine and fear. So many people have given up any social and physical contact for safety, but the trade off is often the loneliness that creeps in. I understand both sides of the equation…the fear is real…the need to continue on in life is real. It is very similar to the walk we cancer parents take. You keep your child home to keep them safe. You sanitize everything and wear masks when you go out. You change your plans and your life for cancer…and it is lonely. There were months on end we could not go to church and when we did it was rarely all of us. Someone stayed home with Millie. We did not go to stores or restaurants. We were cautious! The rest of the world has joined the life of an immune – compromised child (and their family!) What we missed the most was the relationships. I am so glad our family (especially grandparents) came to see Millie anyway. I was heartbroken enough every time we were kept apart during hospital stays due to the one parent rule. Families, especially sick ones, NEED each other.
One thing I have been so impressed with in this time of uncertainty is how some people are working so hard to bring us together even in times of separation. The hospital would play virtual bingo with the children from their rooms. If they won, the prize was delivered to their door. School field trips have gone online and really it allows children to see things that they might never physically get to see. One that stands out to me is the online ‘Zoom’ meetings. This has allowed our bereaved cancer moms to have our support meetings in our own home with woman from across the state. Another is that God’s word is being proclaimed every Sunday on so many platforms that were unheard of a few years ago. All things can work for his GLORY!
Relationship, though harder to maintain right now, really are the fabric of our society. I challenge you to look outside of yourself and how you can form a bond with another human.
• Write a letter and MAIL it!
• Text or email but seriously WRITE the LETTER!
• Buying a small “I’m thinking of you” gift.
• Offering to run an errand to someone who cannot get out.
• PRAYING for others, whether they know or not!
Some of these cost money, but most are free…
Take some time and invest in others. You will never know how that kindness might encourage someone.
Blessings sweet friends…
｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
I still believe in Millie’s Miracle
｡･:*:･ﾟ☆Hebrews 11:1 ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
︵‿︵‿୨☆୧‿︵‿︵
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