Dear Friends,
Have you ever considered if you are a ‘good’ mom (dads and grandparents please bear with me)?
What exactly IS a Good Mom?
Often if you would follow the thoughts of men (probably other women actually) a good mom would be a mom who is young and fit. She is trim, with stylish clothes, and lots of energy. She seems to always have a coffee in one hand, her iPhone ready to documents her child’s every accomplishment, and her name brand diaper bag on her shoulder. She is able to work from home while her children are in play group. When they are home, she is the mom that is right there in the middle of their play. She is willing to sit and play of the floor with them for hours. She is willing to drive them to all the activities that will help them become well rounded kiddos. She knows the importance of spending her waking hours investing in the children, but that often leaves her up way past their bedtime completing all the other things she is responsible for. Clean house- check, happy hubby – check, Bible and prayer time- check, exercise- check, on and on it goes in the never-ending list of ‘mom life’ jobs. But hey, you know being a good mom is a lot of work.
But what if that is not you? What if you just cannot be all those things.? What if you get tired, your coffee is cold, and you are cranky? What if the house is a wreck, the kids need to be bathed, and they are wearing two-day old, mismatched clothes with spaghetti sauce down the front? Maybe your cute haircut is always up in a messy bun and your outfits consist of your hubby’s oversized tees and a pair of leggings? Do YOU qualify as a good MOM??
I think we have to be so careful as we evaluate what it takes to be a ‘good mom’. Most of us can look at others and be sure that ‘they have it all together’. More of us can simply think “I am not living up to what I think a good mom is!” Social media and the world show us what is considered to be good mom stuff… themed birthday parties, nutritious food, matching clothes and hair bows, perfectly clean homes … the list goes on and on. There is nothing inherently wrong with aspiring to any of these things unless they take your eyes off Jesus. There is also none of these things that make you a ‘good mom’… fun maybe but not good.
It is so easy to get caught up in all the ‘right’ things we need to do to be a good mom. Many of my homeschooling mama friends from about 20 years ago can attest to how this felt. At that point in my life, I felt like the recipe to be a good mom included dressing modestly (yes important still!) but usually in an oversized denim jumper and often it had a large collar attached. You needed to know how to grind wheat and bake your own bread… you know for health reasons. You probably had a batch of kefir fermenting on the countertop. Your children, more likely than not, played an instrument. You might have delivered a few of your babies at home. You homeschooled, often while nursing an infant and having a toddler in a playpen nearby. Cloth diapers were often a way to save money because you could reuse them for each new baby. Your large van was white and often had that awful peeling paint that the Chevys had from 2005-2008.
Get a few years further down the road and you probably started to proclaim how your kids would have a ‘courtship’ not dating. You began to get away from the fresh ground wheat and move to gluten free products. You began to use essentials oils and more natural housecleaning products. You started needing help to homeschool and began joining co-ops and using online programs. Now with a house full of teens you started seeing the need for internet filters and cell phone blockers. Your kids were not going to have a phone, right? But somehow they do… somehow all the things we say, “I will never…” usually end with us eating humble pie and being reminded that each child is different. What works for some, does not work for others. What works in some generations does not in others.
We as a people put too much emphasis on being the SAME. The call is “BE LIKE ME! I KNOW HOW TO DO THIS.” In reality, the call needs to be, “Be like JESUS. Only HE knows how to do this!” It is too easy to look at others and not measure up to the standard that they portray whether on purpose or not. In that same vein, do not look at our family and think we know how to do it. But for the grace of GOD, we would be nothing more than a puddle on the floor.
In Ephesians Ch 1 and Ch 2 there is a list of things we are. The movie “Overcomer” broke them down to a statement that read something like this (may not be exact):
"I am created by God. He designed me, so I am not a mistake. His Son died for me, just so I could be forgiven. He picked me to be his own, so I am chosen. He redeemed me, so I am wanted. He showed me grace, just so I could be saved. He has a future for me because He loves me. So, I don’t wonder anymore, I am a child of God."
Today I was a good mom… I fed my children. I told my children they were loved (the ones I saw today). I told my children about the love of GOD and the righteousness of Jesus. And I made the statement in my mind, “I was a good mom today. I took time to untangle the baby doll’s hair because my child asked me too.” In simple terms… today I was present.
Now just for the record:
• I home birthed 3 of my kids… loved it!
• I had a name brand diaper bag that was my favorite from Eddie Bauer.
• I donated all my denim jumpers, but still love a good denim skirt.
• I love essential oils but only know how to use a few effectively.
• I love to smell fresh baked bread but hate cleaning up my wheat mill.
• I miss those days of nursing a baby, watching a toddler, and homeschooling--hard but wonderful days.
• I still drink kefir in my THM yuck yum (you can google that!)
• I gave the cloth diapers away long before Millie used them.
• I love Big Bows and matching outfits.
• I aspire to be a trim, fit and healthy mama… That is why I eat “Trim Healthy Mama” Style
• One of our kids courted, another one plans too, a few have dated… never say, “We will only…”
• My kids do play various musical instruments… 4 daughters are excellent pianist. One son plays some piano, both big guys have taken different kinds of music lessons… basically only SJ and Little man do not play. SJ, because I pulled her out after she confidently told the piano teacher, “I don’t need to practice, I know everything about piano already!”. With Little Man, I just have not even tried to begin yet.
• I still drive that big white van although I bought a newer one with the paint still in place. I just like my van!
• I am not knocking any of these things. They are all great, just not the recipe to Godliness….
Blessings sweet friends…
｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
I still believe in Millie’s Miracle
｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ Hebrews 11:1 ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆
︵‿︵‿୨☆୧‿︵‿︵
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