A few of you have heard me share this story in person. I journaled this about 6 years ago so some of the numbers and facts are a little off. It was before Millie was born. It was a time in my life when I was evaluating if I was a good Momma? Did I measure up? Do you ever wonder that? Do you ever feel like everyone ELSE is a great mom and then there is YOU?? If so, this might speak to your heart.
I have always wanted a blog where I could tell it like it is... could let it all hang out... could recap the good, the bad, and the really ugly. Well friends today is the day! I will tell you what, just not who makes my life the crazy, lovely, chaotic, beautiful, hectic, wonderful life it is.
First a little about myself....
Here's where I can claim perfection. We have arrived! We are done decorating our lovely farm house to resemble this years Southern Homes and Gardens Farm House edition. Our farm is a self sufficient, 80 acre farm with a beautiful garden, productive fruit and nut orchards, free range chickens and grass fed cows. You will even see our gentle dairy goats frolicking in the lush green fields.
I now have my chore charts posted and the children each do their part to keep house well maintained.
I have a daily, monthly, even seasonal meal plan. My stocked up pantry is fully inventoried, including knowing what is in my freezers. I coupon for every shopping trip, bringing home loads of free foods and toiletries that I add to my stockpile. I never know when I might need to use this bounty.
I have a house full of beautiful, smart, obedient and respectful children. They all rise early each day, work hard all the time, and call me blessed. We have homeschooled for 19 years which might lead you to believe they are slow learners, however they are not...we just have a house full with 8 of them!
I am able to rise early each morning, get my Bible study time in and my exercise time done. This keeps both my mind and body fit and ready for the day.
NOT Hardly!!!! In reality, these are good things to aspire to in and of themselves but they do not lead to perfection. Somewhere along the road of life, we moms were led astray. We were led down a path that leads straight to a river of disappointment when we can not keep up all these self imposed standards. I have to remind myself they are self imposed. I really WANT all the things above, but I am not any less of a good mommy if I don't have them.
So for now, here's how it goes....
I live on an 80 acre non working farm, with a refurbished farmhouse. I am a mediocre decorator and it is time to repaint the walls after being here 8 years already. We have cracks in the walls and a few broken tiles on the floor...it is a farm house after all!
We do have a garden that consists of 8 tomato plants and six pepper plants. The flower beds grow weeds just as well as they do flowers. We sold the goats, the chickens got eaten by coyotes, and the cows belong to our son. We have planted the fruit orchard 3 times, but only 2 trees continue to grow. We do have 80 pecan trees, but by the time you invest in a brush hog and labor to clean the area up, the income is not worth harvesting the trees. The drought doesn't help either!
My daily, monthly, and seasonal food plan is to eat. I don't know what it will be or who's going to make it, but we will eat. I have a rough idea of what foods I have in the pantry. We live far enough out from town that I always buy 2 to make sure we have extra on the shelf. I love couponing but it causes me STRESS. I am not nice to be around when I am trying to prepare my shopping trip.
My children are wonderful. I love each one dearly. The are beautiful...they look like Daddy. Smart (but some times smart mouthed!), obedient unless they are disobeying, and respectful at least in public. The older ones do rise early and work hard. The younger, not so much. In fact, I often let them sleep in just for peace and quiet! They have yet to call me blessed loud enough that I can hear, but maybe that is what they are mumbling under their breath??
We really have homeschooled 19 years and so far have 18 to go... all I can say is wow! I will be almost 60 when I am done!!
I do try to read my Bible, often while nursing the baby. As far as exercise goes, I hate it! I don't want to do it, don't enjoy it, and my body reflects that truth.
Now that I have shared these truths from my life, you can rest easy...you're not alone! Surely I can't be the only mamma who struggles...daily!!??!!
At the risk of taking this scripture out of context, I will leave you with the words of Jesus in John 8:32,
"And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
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