Always a Cancer Mom

 If I say I am a cancer mom you would assume my child has cancer, yet in reality a cancer mom is any mom who has ever had cancer touch their child. Whether the child is currently fighting, in remission, or in heaven, we will always be ‘cancer moms.’ We are forever in a club of other cancer fighter moms. Do we want to be here? Absolutely not, but yet we do… These moms understand us to our core. They understand our fears. They understand the stress and anxiety that the little things bring. They understand the things we cannot put words too.

This has been a tough week in the cancer world. Losing another child, a little girl that fought so hard to live. A little girl that was given the ‘cancer free’ status not too long ago, yet having it ravage her body so completely just months later. Having it leave behind a weeping mother and father. Having it steal a sister from a little brother that needed her. Having it bring a community of moms, many who have never met her, to their knees with the gut-wrenching thoughts of “it could be my child” or “it’s just like our story”. You see it does not matter what cancer has done to us, the fear, the worry, the compassion, and the oneness are all the same. We moms know too many names of children that are no longer here. We know the names of too many other moms who understand our pain. We know the fear of wondering who it will take next. We often pray that it’s none of our own and yet we know it will be. Heartbreaking is an understatement! Cancer is an enemy that doesn’t fight fair.

There are other things that have brought us to our knees this week, some small, others big, yet all impacting our hearts in such huge ways. We received the final insurance statement from Millie’s claim. You want to scream just keep the check; I’d much rather have my child! Yet this will be used as we decide how to honor Millie and help other children who are fighting.

Again, this morning as I watched Little Man hug SJ good morning, my eyes filled with tears. He misses Millie so much. I do too! I had to turn away lest I make the children cry too often. They loved her so much. They talk about her every day with me. We talk about what heavenly healing looks like. We talk about if she is bald or has blond curls in heaven. We guess so many things we won’t know until we arrive. As we discussed Egyptian mummies in our homeschool history this week our conversation turned back to Millie. Egyptians believed they would receive their same bodies back and so they needed to preserve them. I assured the kids we will get glorious new bodies. There is no way GOD would give Millie back a body filled with cancer. It never ceases to amaze me how many times a day we speak her name.

Even my Facebook memories can cause my heart to pound. My memories that came up was from two years ago today. Our family attended a carnival to celebrate my husband’s employers 70th anniversary in business. It rained through out the day, but we had fun. We didn’t stress about being a little wet, but I do remember how life was so normal…. JUST 2 YEARS ago! Back when my kids were healthy. Back when my worries were light. Back when I didn’t know what the future held. As David and I talked tonight, he reminded me once again that this is why we have to be thankful for every moment. We are all moving toward heaven, yet some of us get there faster than others. We fight to hang onto this world with everything we have. We believe that children should outlive their parents. We think everyone deserves to grow old. Instead our focus should be eternal. Our time here is so short. None of us are promised anything. Scripture even goes so far as to say our life is fleeting…

James 4:14 “yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes.”

It goes on to say,

James 4:15 “instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."

So, what is an eternal focus? Some might question if I am saying don’t enjoy life here? Absolutely not! If you are a Christian (and you are ONLY if you have repented of sin asking Jesus to be your savior), then we are told to set our minds on things above.

Colossians 3:1 “Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”

That does not mean you sit around reading scripture all day, listening sermons, and not living life. It means that as you live your life, your focus is heavenward. You know that our time here is short, so you do your best to use each day to live as Christ Jesus called us too. He commanded we LOVE GOD and LOVE our NEIGHBORS. How do we love our neighbors? Well first off, your neighbors are not those that live next door necessarily. Our closest ‘neighbors’ are a mile away! Your neighbor are the people you meet throughout your day.

How do you love them? Scripture says “as yourself” … that means like you would want to be loved. Be KIND. Serve them. Meet their needs. Hear their hearts. Give wise counsel when you know it and keep your mouth shut when you don’t. Be encouraging. Be generous. Step outside your comfort zone to welcome others. Be hospitable. ABOVE ALL… love them.

Are you loving?

****I need to acknowledge that so many of you are loving. You have been the hands and feet of Christ to our family. You have treated us as your neighbor. You have served and loved us. I am so grateful for you!