Just a small car is all I need

 Today David and I took a drive with Little Man and SJ in our car. To be honest I don’t remember ever taking a ride in the car with just them. Our family size has demanded a larger vehicle for the last 24 years. First a minivan, then a 15 passenger van, now a 12 passenger van. There were many years that all twelve seats were full. Years that we hauled friends, others where grandma or grandchildren lived with us. That was not many years back, yet my mind feels like it was decades ago. Now, most days our van has 3-6 people in it and yet my heart hasn’t been ready to sell it. Another life change and death of a vision I guess.

Child loss feel like uncharted territory. Everything you think is one way, instead it is another. I am the mom of a preschooler yet our youngest at home is 7. I have a cabinet full of hair bows yet Little Man is all boy. I have stopped saving clothes from SJ, there is no one to wear them. We have baby toys that only the grands play with. Most of all I have a bear and a monkey that must miss having a sweet little voice singing to them at naptime.

These are the times when life with (out) Millie takes on an odd feeling. It almost feels like her time here was a dream. As I look at her pictures and smile at the memories, each passing day blurs them just a bit in my mind.

I recount her life, I share her journey, I write about her all because I never want to forget that little girl who stole my heart and permeated every area of my life. I also share to remind us that God walks with us even in the hardest moments of our life. Her life’s journey points to him. Some people think that is an odd statement—how could I give glory to God when my daughter died. The answer comes in realizing that being a Christian is not an insurance against bad things but rather it is a relationship with Jesus that gets us through the bad.

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world." John 16:33

Blessings Sweet Friends,

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･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆｡･:*:･ﾟﾟ★ ★｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

I still believe in Millie’s Miracle

｡･:*:☆ Hebrews 11:1 ｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ★｡･:*:︵‿︵‿୨☆୧‿︵‿︵｡･:*

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