I Still Believe

 Have you seen the movies "I still believe"? It is the life testimony of Jeremy Camp and his first wife who passed away of cancer shortly after they married.

I Still Believe
Jeremy Camp

Scattered words and empty thoughts

Seem to pour from my heart

I've never felt so torn before

Seems I don't know where to start

But it's now that I feel Your grace falls like rain

From every fingertip, washing away my pain

I still believe in Your faithfulness

I still believe in Your truth

I still believe in Your holy word

Even when I don't see, I still believe

Though the questions still fog up my mind

With promises I still seem to bear

Even when answers slowly unwind

It's my heart I see You prepare

But its now that I feel Your grace fall like rain

From every finger tip, washing away my pain

I still believe in Your faithfulness

I still believe in Your truth

I still believe in Your holy word

Even when I don't see, I still believe

The only place I can go is into your arms

Where I throw to you my feeble prayers

In brokenness I can see that this was your will for me

Help me to know Your near

This song often runs through my mind.... "I still believe..."
The last two days have been heavy and emotional. Our hearts miss her so much and the tears come so easily. As a grieving parent, that seems to be the repetitive answer I give to the question "how are you?" You want to be truthful, but you also don't want to be a broken record. My heart can hurt so bad, yet that doesn't change my belief. God is still GOD! He comforts me. I seek him in worship. I cry out in pain. I pray for a sweet balm to allow me to have precious memories with out being brokenhearted.

My scripture today was from Psalms 86: 11-13

Teach me Your way, O LORD;
I will walk in Your truth;
Unite my heart to fear Your name.
I will give thanks to You, O Lord my God, with all my heart,
And will glorify Your name forever.
For Your lovingkindness toward me is great,
And You have delivered my soul from the depths of Sheol.

Sheol is the grave. Death, not physical but spiritual death. God has delivered ME (and you if you are a believer!) from spiritual DEATH by taking our place. He prepares a place for every believer in Heaven. I have a place there. My little girl is there waiting for me. She is in the great cloud of witnesses that surround us. Hebrews 12:1-3 tells us:

1 Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,
2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
3 For consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.

That's our prayer that we not grow weary or lose heart. I pray Millie's Miracle, her life will be one of the "stars that shine brighter than others"🦋💖🌟

"If one's person's life is changed from what I go thorough it will all be worth it."

Praises:
💕I'm grateful to find quality movies that minister to my heart.

Prayers:
🔹Pray for a restful night. We are so tired and still not resting well.
🔹Pray for friend Levy -she's not feeling well on her chemo. Three years old and Chemo should not be in the same sentence.

Love is an adjective, Love is a verb

 Today was the Lord’s day. Our family headed to church, first Sunday School, then the Worship Service. Each ministered to my heart in such a big way.

In Sunday School, we discussed LOVE. Many people when hearing the word love will envision a warm gooey feeling. Blushing cheeks, roses, romance, and red hearts. However, that type of love is simply an adjective. It is describing how we ‘think’ love is. It’s really more of an attraction.
Have you every though how true LOVE is a Verb? It is a decision and choice to be committed to someone, no matter the problems that may arise. It is a commitment to stay together when life gets hard. Sometimes after people lose a child and the stress builds, fighting ensues and sometimes it leads to divorce. Sometimes there is blame involved surrounding the child’s death, but probably the marriages just fade away from not taking the time to invest in each other. Early on in Millie’s illness we had a very real talk that if we were going to lose her, we did not want to lose our other children (their hearts) or our marriage too. We have had to make a conscious CHOICE to still pursue each of those things. Grief is hard to walk through. It’s harder when you have to think of how the others are handling it also. We have a lot of hearts to walk with during this time.

Our text this morning was about LOVE also.
Romans 13:8-14
Love Fulfills the Law
8 Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law. 9 The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not covet,”[a] and whatever other command there may be, are summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”[b] 10 Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore, love is the fulfillment of the law.
It all comes down to LOVE. People say do not judge, just love. Is that possible? Yes and no. Just as Jesus met the woman at the well and told her “go and sin no more”, he loved her (he didn’t stone her as the law commanded) but he did judge by saying to sin no more. Was he mean? No, acknowledging sin and encouraging others to turn from it is never mean. It is a demonstration of LOVE for them and their wellbeing. This is were we can love the sinner and not the sin. It is possible….

Another verse that is well known is the 23 Psalm:
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2 He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.
3 He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

Verse 4 talks about the valley of the shadow of death. That valley is grief, but the only reason there is a shadow is because there is light above. Look up and see the SON of God. He leads us through this valley. He is with me each step of the way. He is with you also. We have nothing to fear. He comforts us. He restores us. We do not want. Our cup runs over.

I’m thankful for the comforting words and actions of our GOD. May HIS goodness and mercy follow us all the days of our life…

Praises:
💕I’m so grateful for the untold amounts of LOVE that have been given to our family this year. You have served, prayed, shown up, and shared so much with us. Thank you for staying by our side as we continue this journey.

Prayers:
🔹Tonight I heard a special prayer request from a family friend. A young man name Harold was severely burned the last few days while working on his car. Please pray for comfort to him. Pray for restoration of his health. Pray that his doctors have wisdom as they treat him. LOVE him by praying for him.

****Often on Sunday Mornings I share our church service online. If you are looking for a place to worship, consider watching with us. Today we sang the song:
"Surely the Presence of the Lord is in this place"
as our hearts prepared to worship Jesus together. It was beautiful.💖🦋

Raw emotions of grief, tears, and heartache

Tonight’s post has a lot of raw emotion. It is filled with grief, tears, and heartache. It has a lump in our throat and a pit in our stomach. It has been the day that grief showed up multiple times, places, and ways. Today was one month since Mille ran to Jesus.

When Millie left, SJ and Little Man expressed sorrow that they had no pictures or videos of her. The hospital gave them each a wooden bookmark with her picture, hand print, and her name. They cherish them. Many nights I find the kids in bed looking at it before they go to sleep. Many nights they ask for us to show them a “Millie video” once more before bed. It warms my heart that they love her so much and want to continually walk close to pain so they can remember her.

Today I airdropped all my videos from my phone to our iPad so the kids can look at them any time they want. That led to each one sitting and looking through them. By the time they and then I was done, we were pretty emotional. Our beautiful precious Millie is so missed. From her fuzzy head, to her sweet pudgy hand holding mine. Her skin was so soft. Her head so bald with that sweet little red ‘stork kiss’ on the back of her head. Her little ring finger on her right hand that had a brown freckle on it. Her funny laugh, sense of humor, and love for her farm. Watching her play with her brothers and sisters…silly, rowdy, goofy, and joyful. She was a very determined girl, always knowing what she didn’t want, but not always what she did. We talked of so many memories. SJ asked if I thought we would all die from our grief. Daddy and I assured her we didn’t think that would happen but that we understood it could feel that way sometimes. We hold each other and we cry together.

We did grieve but we don’t stay in our grief. We smile through our tears. We find our JOY. We choose to get up and go on.

Psalm 34:18

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.

Matthew 5:4

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.

Thessalonians 4:13-14

Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him.

These verses bring comfort, but the third one is such a deep thought. The underlined part (by me) speaks about how as a Christian our grief is different. Our grief is not a lost hopelessness. We know we will see our loved one again in heaven because of JESUS. Praise the LORD!

Praises:

💕Miss K is our up and coming photographer. She has been running her business for over a year and has had the opportunity to shoot some pretty fun things lately. Its always exciting to see your kids reaching for their dreams and achieving them. All the kids are trying new things lately. Cheer, private school, starting businesses, traveling for work, and so much more. It does give me JOY to watch them.

Prayers:

🔹Today was rough. It reveals how much grief is inside. Pray for each of us that we may use this as a stepping stone toward something good, not a miry pit to wallow and drown in.

Battling Survivor's Guilt

In the last few weeks, I have encountered quite a few people expressing survivors’ guilt.  A sweet friend and I were discussing it today and it made me think it is worth examining our thoughts on surviving a traumatic event.

One definition of survivor’s guilt is:

“a condition of persistent mental and emotional stress experienced

by someone who has survived an incident in which others died.”

 

I do not know if this is how everyone feels when they survive something traumatic.  There are so many different things in life that cause trauma.  Car wrecks, house fires, natural disasters, large scale events like the Oklahoma City Bombing or World Trade Center Towers. There are soldiers in combat, plane crashes, and illnesses.  Sometimes it seems the survivors feel guilty because those that passed on are close family or friends that were in the trauma together.  They may wonder why their lives were spared and the others were not?

 

In our family’s case it is my wonderful, supportive tribe of cancer mamas.  These precious women are in the trenches day in and day out fighting for basic survival of their child.  That child might be diagnosed as a small infant, toddler, elementary age, middle schooler, high schooler, or even young adult.  As you quickly learn on the oncology floor is that cancer is ruthless.  It does not care who it hurts or what their age.  Another thing you learn is there are so many kinds of cancer.  According to the American Cancer Society, “The types of cancers that occur most often in children are different from those seen in adults. The most common cancers of children are:

• Leukemia
• Brain and spinal cord tumors
• Neuroblastoma
• Wilms tumor
• Lymphoma (including both Hodgkin and non-Hodgkin)
• Rhabdomyosarcoma
• Retinoblastoma
• Bone cancer (including osteosarcoma and Ewing sarcoma)”

Now when you consider that each variation of childhood cancer has many different offshoots, it leaves endless possibilities of children on the Oncology floor.  About 700 children a day worldwide will receive a cancer diagnosis. That equals 15,780 children in the United States under the age of 19 that will be diagnosed with cancer this year according to American Childhood Cancer Organization.  

Despite major advances – from an overall survival rate of 10 percent just fifty years ago to nearly 90 percent today, for many rare cancers, the survival rate is much lower. Childhood cancer is not just one disease but made up of 12 major types with over 100 sub-types, so although some types of cancer have a 97% survival rate (Hodgkin Lymphoma) others have a survival rate of less than 1% (DIPG). The number of diagnosed cases annually has continued to increase over the past 20 years.  One in five American Children will not survive a cancer battle. (American Cancer Society)

With that type of odds, it is inevitable that children you meet at the hospital, the ones you play with in the hallways and waiting rooms, could possibly die.  As a mom, you try not to look around and wonder whose child it will be?  Mine? The little girl down the hall?  The baby that cries half the night. The teenage boy that is fighting after relapsing…again.  You simply PRAY.  You pray God will save your child.  You pray your friend’s child will survive.  You wonder how you will break the news that a friend has passed away?  In our case of course, Millie was the one to die.  So how did these mom’s share with their kids?  Some talked to child life and had them help explain it. Some reminded their child that Millie no longer hurts and is with Jesus. A few simply didn’t tell their child because they don’t want them to be sad or scared that it could happen to them.  There is no right way!

On the other hand, how did the mom’s themselves react.  First, they were so incredibly kind to our family.  Serving us, loving us, calling, coming, making things for us to remember her by. Secondly though they expressed ‘survivor’s guilt’. They felt bad that their child is thriving and off treatment, or maybe even still fighting for their life, but still have LIFE.  How do you respond to that?

I assured each mama “No, I am sooo grateful that your child is doing well.”   I would not for one second wish they walked through the death of their precious child. I don’t wish that it was your child instead of mine.  Do I miss my baby?  YES, every day until I meet her in heaven, but I truly believe she fulfilled her days on this earth and God’s plan for her life. That is where I gain my peace in trusting HIM. There can be no survivors guilt if we embrace the idea that God has a plan, purpose, and time for each of us. He himself numbers our days. We must use each day to his glory.  His word says:

All the days ordained for me were written in your book
before one of them came to be.(Psalm 139:16)

^{Psalms 90:12} So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom.

^{Psalms 37:5a} Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him;

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

We see such a small part of God’s plan.  It’s like looking at the duck swimming peacefully on the pond.  We see his calm body gliding gracefully in the water.  What we don’t see is everything going on under the surface.  The feet rapid paddling, the turtles, and snakes to avoid, the weeds to get tangled in.  The fish that tempt that duck to lose focus. A lot of things go on in the spiritual realm that we will never know about here in the physical.  There are battles being waged, guardian angels protecting us and more.  Some of that sounds strange to new believers, but scripture assures us in  Ephesians 6:12 "For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers over this present darkness, against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly places."

 

So tonight, I am reminded to use each day God gives me to his glory.  I’m encouraged by how many allowed me to pray for them this morning.  It took me about 3 hours to pray over and respond to each of you.  So many needs…so many hearts hurting…we NEED Jesus and each other.  Thanks for showing up here every night to encourage our family. 
Blessings, 

Millie’s Momma

 

Praises:

I’m feeling (more) confident that I can pull it together for this year of homeschooling. What we just walked through makes you feel fuzzy brained and a little lost at times. I’m excited though to start a new year and SJ prayed tonight “thank you God for letting me do school with here safe with mommy”.  I love her sweet sincere heart.

 

Prayers:

Say a prayer over all our favorite nurses on the 10^th floor tonight.  Those men and women see so much.  The love and give and lose and hurt, only to do it all over again with the next child.  They are caregivers, playmates, prayer partners, even ‘parents’ to the children in need.  They are tough and tender at the same time.  I appreciate every single one we encountered.  And I must add our special PICU nurse in there too!

Do you doubt God’s goodness?

Yesterday we talked about hiding God’s word in our hearts to not sin against him.  If you are a Christian you probably know what the term ‘sin’ means.  But what if you are not?  Of course most people associate sin with ‘doing bad things’. We’ve all heard the term “Sin City”…that place people go to do things they wouldn’t usually do back at home?  But really, what is sin?  The dictionary says sin is  

“an immoral act considered to be a transgression against divine law”

As I was reading my bible this morning I found where I had written “The very first sin came from doubting God’s goodness.”  That is a powerful statement!  Adam and Eve lived in a sin free world.  They had everything.  God walked with them daily. Things were perfect. And then…. Eve was tempted because she believed the lie that God was keeping good things from them.  She DOUBTED God’s goodness.  She tempted Adam to doubt God’s goodness.  Wow the power a woman, even a misguided one, has on her guy.  Just as its said a mother sets the tone for the home, a wife has high influence on her husband.

Do you doubt God’s goodness?  Have you believed a lie?  Do you search for JOY in places other than God? Again, its back to a war with the mind…  Either God is GOOD all the time or you have doubts about his goodness.

I choose to believe God is good all the time and all the time God is good!  

A favorite movie of mine “Facing the Giants” says

 “If we win, we praise Him. And if we lose, we praise Him. Either way we honor Him with our actions and our attitudes. So, I’m askin’ you… What are you living for?”

Grant Taylor (Alex Kendrick)

Today my JOY showed up when the mailman arrived.  A box with a beautiful memorial to Millie arrived.  It is a solar powered sign with her picture, her name and dates on it. Little Man was so impressed.  He said "I've never seen anything like that. It will be amazing" He's always so much fun!

As we sorted more school stuff this morning, SJ burst into tears.  When I asked what she was thinking she responded “I just realized I’ll never get to help Millie with preschool.  It was my turn to help teach”.  I usually let my older kids teach my preschoolers a mini-preschool class.  Alphabet and Numbers, they all have fun doing crafts together.  Most every child has looked forward to helping their ‘buddy’.  This has been a tough thing for all of us to realize our preschool and kindergarten years are done.  I gave all Millie’s school stuff to our grandbaby as her mama plans to homeschool. Its been a sweet balm to know that she will enjoy Millie’s things. 

Praises:

I was grateful that SJ trusted me enough to share her grief and her heart with me.  She is a true treasure at 9. She’s old enough to understand so much, but still have a sweet innocence about her.  Sometimes its so hard to think all the ‘little girl’ in our family ends with her now.  She’s growing so fast.

Prayers:

Pray for the children as they adjust to the little things that bring so much grief out. 

Pray for rest for daddy and I.  Nights are still the hardest.  The quiet, hand in hand with so many months of nighttime care leaves us awake and restless.  Sometimes the tears come, but others we just wrestle our pillows all night long.  

Our mindset is a CHOICE

Our thoughts are so very important. They are difference between Joy or anger, gratefulness or bitterness, truth or a lie. Often what we think on is who we become. All day I’ve been meditating on the verse:
“I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you” Psalms 119:11

Years ago I understood to hide God’s word in my heart was to memorize it. I remember rotely memorizing verse after verse. However as I’ve gotten older that’s become harder. Now my ‘memory’ work comes in other ways. Scripture songs that I can sing put lots of verses in my mind. Decorating my home in verses. Wearing the tshirts you sent me. Basically surrounding myself with God’s word.

Some may wonder why that matters? Because when faced with a trial or life stressor, what is in your heart will be what comes out of your mouth. For some it will be a curse word or even taking God’s name in vain. For others it will be a complaint or murmuring of heart. For me I want God’s word readily available as my first line of defense. It keeps me fully aware of how not to ‘sin against God’.

I read Psalms 78 this morning. It gave the history of the children of Israel. It told how rebellious they were. I underlined their actions, paraphrased
...they continued to sin (17)
...rebelling against the Most High
....willfully demanding (18)
....spoke against God (19)
....did not believe in God (22)
....<<did not>> trust in his deliverance
....In spite, they kept on sinning (32)
....they did not believe
....flatter him with their mouths(36)
....lying to him with their tongues
....hearts were not loyal to him (37)
....were not faithful to his covenant

God’s actions:
....Yet he was merciful (38)
....he forgave
....he restrained his anger
....he remembered

Again they:
....put God to the test
....rebelled against the Most High
....did not keep his statutes
....they angered him (58)
.... aroused his jealousy

Over and over the Children of Israel acted like spoiled rebellious children. Over and over we too act like rebellious children to our father. I know how that makes me feel as a parent when my children rebel....It helps me understand how God must feel.

So back to my thoughts and them keeping me from sin, each ACTION they did was a thought put into motion. What we believe we live. I have to CHOOSE Joy. I have to decide to not be angry. I must CHOOSE gratefulness. I have to decide I don’t want to be bitter. I have to CHOOSE truth. I can’t believe the lies of the enemy.

To take that one step further, I can choose to be joyful that God left Millie with us a year after her cancer diagnosis. I have decided I can’t be angry she died. I choose to be grateful that God allowed me to be her mommy for 3 years and 7 months. I will not be bitter that we didn’t have 4 years or 40 years. I choose the truth that God is a good loving father. I decide to ignore the whispers of the enemy “if God loves you, he wouldn’t have taken her”. Our mindset is a CHOICE.

Do you surround yourself with God’s word? Do you CHOOSE to hide his word in your heart (and mind)?

Miss A shared these sweet photos off her phone tonight. One benefit of having teens with phones is they love to take photos. I had never seen these and they thrill my heart. The joy on Millie’s face as SJ embraces her....that will be the joy on my face as I embrace her one day in heaven. 🦋💖

Praises:
💕 Daddy is readjusting to his Work schedule.
💕 Ady’s day 2 of Immunotherapy is done.

Prayers:
🔹 We have two weeks left until our school year starts. Pray that all the preparations come together quickly.

Even If (Mercy Me)

When you read this post tonight some of it might not make sense until you watch this video testimony from MercyMe.

Every Person, every Christian has those mountain top days. The really good days when everything is going in your favor. You can’t imagine life getting much better than this. But then every person, and yes every Christian has those valleys. The lowest spot in their lives where nothing else could go wrong. Nothing could be worse than where they are right now, today. Yes sometimes those even come in the same day....

This video mentions chronic illness and says “if you know anything about chronic illness it never goes away. You have your good days and your bad days but it’s still there.” My mind immediately said “Until it does and you no longer have your child”. It also makes me think that grief is a ‘chronic illness’. Reread that.... You have your good days and your bad days but it’s still there. So much truth! However he doesn’t leave it there. It’s so worth the listen.   

https://youtu.be/O_WSeZh5mWA

Today was a good day.... Tonight was a hard night. I’m not sure there was a dry eye in the house. One child confessed...”I’ve lost one of my best friends, my little snuggler”. We each started sharing how hard today was. Some talking more than others. Little man climbed on my lap and said “Millie was my best sister and best friend. It’s going to be a long time until we see her again momma”. Yes for those of us left here without her, it will feel that way. It’s hard to consider living the rest of your life missing her and daily walking through grief.

#BecauseOfMillieIamChanged
#forever3
#evenif
#Mercyme
#Faith
#Trust

#Itiswellwithmysoul

#Jesus

Praises:
💕Friend Ady’s day 1 Immunotherapy is complete with only a headache. Praising God🙏🏻
💕Miss K’s best friend was in a serious car wreck today but is okay. Banged up but will heal. Praising God...

Prayers:
🔹Pray for peace in the many grieving hearts of our family tonight. If you love so deeply, you will miss so dearly 🦋💖 Millie was so loved.

JOY - Jesus First, Others Next, Yourself Last

I found my JOY🦋 where I least expected it this morning. After a good Sunday School lesson, a friend handed me some color sheets for the kids to use in church.
J -Jesus First
O- Others next
Y- Yourself last

This acronym reminds us to keep our focus and our JOY 💖

Also as I was wishing my favorite twins Happy 24th birthday, I found a picture of Millie with one of them. The kids spent a lot of time with this special lady (sorry I don’t have her sisters pic) over the last 6 years. They always have a great time playing games, cooking treats, and doing chores. These girls, along with their sisters (5 total) have invested in my kids as piano teachers, mothers helpers, house cleaners, school teachers, bible school teachers, drivers, and so much more. The going joke at one time is they were the “rent a mother” for us. We have been so incredibly BLESSED by them, their character, and their Christian love. The values that their parents instilled in their children show in the way they live their lives. I pray the same is said for my children.

Praises:
💕 It was a good day in God’s house. I’m glad to be back worshipping today.

Prayers:
🔹Daddy’s first day back at work is tomorrow.
🔹Pray for a peaceful night. Missing Millie is heavy today.
🔹Friend Ady admitted tonight and will start Immunotherapy #1 tomorrow am. Pray that the pain is manageable and controlled quickly.

Grounded in Christ

 As we start to slow down for the evening, we begin to prepare our hearts and minds for tomorrow. Sunday. A day of worship. An opportunity to gather together with other believers. For many people it is also the only day they consider including God in their lives. You've read Millie's story long enough to know that my (momma's) heart is to live every day for Jesus. My heart is also to see my children walk in truth and fellowship with Christ.

Many children are raised with no spiritual grounding or knowledge. Some are raised with only going to church on Sunday or maybe a special holiday. Some are taught at home how to read their bibles, study scripture, pray, and praise. Scripture tells us that Jesus came and died for all those children equally. Each person has the opportunity to give their life to him through
A) Admitting they are a sinner
B)Believing Christ died on the cross to take their place
C) Confess Jesus as Lord.
Did you know some people will go their whole life 'living like a Christian' without ever simply choosing to follow the ABC's and submit their lives to Christ?

Early this morning as I came into the kitchen, I saw daddy at the table, bible open, head bowed, starting his day. He didn't announce it to the family. He wasn't being showy. He just chooses to start his day with Jesus. I am so grateful when I married this man 30 years ago as a baby believer that his heart was to learn, grow, and serve the Lord. It thrills my heart to know that he desires to see his children walk in truth just as much as I do.

We have taught our children about Jesus since they were tiny infants. As I have shared before, we 'bless' them each night before bed. "May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you. May the Lord lift his countenance upon you and give you his......PEACE" I capitalized peace because they always yell that part. It's the first word to the blessing that they memorize. You may have heard Millie say peace in her tea party video. That is her ending her prayer over her food. https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=271961567491297

We read bible story books, we watch Nest bible videos, we play praise and worship music, we make an effort to put God's word in our children. All those things are great, but even greater still is our children seeing us follow Jesus. Have you heard that saying "do as I say and not as I do?". That never works out does it? That is where people start thinking Christians are hypocrites. In reality, they are probably not hypocrites as much as still baby Christians who have never gotten deep into God's word. They have belief but don't know where to go from there. Hebrews 5:12, New Living Translation talks about that...
"You have been believers so long now that you ought to be teaching others. Instead, you need someone to teach you again the basic things about God’s word. You are like babies who need milk and cannot eat solid food."

Where are you tonight? Are you a new believer? Have you been a Christian for years but need to get into his word more often? Are you wondering if you even know him? I'd like to encourage you to do it NOW. Ephesians 5:15 tells us to "redeem the time because the days are evil...." meaning do it now, don't wait! However the whole chapter of Ephesians 5 is a good place to start.

Another thing to consider is what you fill your mind with. While driving today I was listening to KLOVE radio ( http://www.klove.com/ ). Each song is so encouraging. Each one I wanted to share tonight and say "YES THIS!!!" but I can't share them all. I encourage you to find this station either on your radio, the app, or livestream and dive in. Let me know if it speaks to you like it does me?

Millie asked to go to church whenever she was home. She loved to sing the songs and eat the doughnuts (we are Baptists, you have to have doughnuts...lol) In her last few days we often told her "did you know in heaven nobody has cancer? Nobody's tummy hurts in heaven. You get to see Jesus in Heaven." And on that last day, in the last few moments after blessing her one final time, we said "run to Jesus baby, don't be scared. We love you!". You see our assurance is that she waits for us there... Now our job here is to prepare our other children to know about Jesus so they can make the CHOICE to KNOW JESUS.

Praises:
💕 I’m grateful that Millie’s Miracle didn’t stop when her life did. The fact that she touched you all enough to want to read and pray for her (and our family) is tremendous. Thank you for letting me continue to share my heart.

Prayers:
🔹Pray for those reading tonight that needed to hear and believe that Jesus loves even them.
🔹Pray for Ady as she begins Immunotherapy this week. It can be a rough painful treatment. She has to do 5 rounds over 5 months. Pray it will be manageable or no pain.

Gettin it tight!

 Little Man funnies....

“Dad do you know what ‘gettin it tight’ means? It means bless you”

SJ pipes up “that’s gesundheit!”