The Path of Least Resistance

 I have long heard the phrase “Electricity takes the path of least resistance” and thought that it was accurate. I looked it up today as I started to write this and was met with many links that stated that it was a myth or at best an oversimplified explanation. So instead I looked up the definition of this phrase in relationship to people.

Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English

the line/path of least resistance

“if you follow the path of least resistance, you avoid making difficult decisions and choose the easiest solution to a problem”

The path of least resistance is often the choice we make in life if we do not live very intentionally. Years ago, I met a man that would change the course of my life and my children’s lives. This man was my husband’s stepfather that raised him from about age 8 to age 16. I am not totally sure of the earlier age but that’s my guess. This man did not make a huge impression on me at the time, other than just knowing he was very nice. I knew he was a handy man by trade. He could build things and supported his family by it. However, as the years passed, I came to realize just how he would impact our family for many years to come. He would do so by the work ethics he instilled in my husband.

Each day he would have my husband work in his woodshop. Like any teenage boy, my guy did not appreciate it then. There were many things that he would rather have been doing, but instead he was required to work. Learning to work at an early age has been a blessing his entire life. There has never been a day that he has not worked and provided for his family. He truly enjoys working now. He enjoys creating things. He enjoys seeing the fruit of his dreams and then his labor come to fulfillment. Another benefit of my husband being forced to work as a young man was that he passed this work ethic on to our children. As we look to our adult sons and their work ethic, they take after their daddy working hard each day. As we view our teen daughters and their work at a farm stand the last few summers, they too are acquiring this understanding of hard work.

Now as we all know that a child left to himself will not usually choose to be a hard worker. Scripture says,

Proverbs 29:15 “The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.”

Proverbs 12:24 “Diligent hands will rule, but laziness ends in forced labor.”

Children are by nature are lazy. They are given parents to reprove them and train them to change that nature. I would venture to say that is a hard task. One that I often wonder if it is harder today than it was in the past? It seems in years past, the family survival depended on the children working. Each child knew they were important and had a valuable role in sustaining the family. Families had gardens, farm families had animals, even town families often had things the children had to do. My grandmother often talked about her daddy having a truck garden. He would grow vegetables on his small piece of land at the edge of town, then sell them to support his family. He was also a ‘rag man’. He would drive his truck around collecting peoples cast off fabrics and selling them for rags to earn money. Anything to support his wife and 8 children. Grandma shared with me that as one of the older children, she was expected to work in the home doing the laundry and cooking. My grandma learned to work early on in life, and she continued to do so until her death many years later.

I fear for today’s children. They are often not taught to work. They are placed in front of electronic babysitters to keep them busy and out of the parent’s way. Yes, the parent gets more done, but a whole generation is not learning how to work. Day in and day out, the children are taught not how to work but how to be lazy. They are taught about life, morals, and ideals often by people who do not share the parent’s mindset. They learn the ways of the world. They learn how to get ahead in life often by being dishonest. They learn agendas and propaganda of the current culture. Then, as parents we wonder why our children do not share our beliefs? Why do they turn and follow the world? Their teachers did a great job schooling them...and sadly it was not their parents.

I have a friend who once had 10 children under the age of 10. I have watched her as she has grown from a new Christian to a wise, Titus 2 woman. I have long admired her in the way she has parented her children. She seems to have the ultimate amount of patience with them, but in reality, she just wants to instill God’s word into them continually. When her 6 daughters were little, she would line them all up in the kitchen with her to cook. When that became too much at once, she would do them in shifts. She taught those girls to be woman that are confident in the kitchen. Her sons often went to the shop with the daddy to ‘work’. I am sure they spent lots of time making mischief instead of working, but they knew they were needed to ‘help’ daddy. I am so proud of this family and how they have trained their children to be workers AND how they did it together. Are they a perfect family? Of course not! But they know who they want to train their children and their lives reflect that.

My prayer as I am still parenting young children is “Lord, help me not to take the path of least resistance.”

Following the Rules??!?

 I am a rule follower by nature. I kind of figure if someone spent the time thinking through a new rule that they must have had the best interest of the people at heart. They surely weighed out the pros and the cons, using their expertise in the area to make a well-grounded decision, right? No one would waste their time otherwise. Why would someone desire to make your life hard for the sake of making it hard?

Over my 40 plus years I have however encountered rules that are stupid and have no logical basis, at least in my mind. However, if you speak to the rule maker (law maker) they probably THINK they had a good reason. One rule that comes to mind is giving me a ticket for driving in the left or fast lane. If I am doing the speed limit, why ticket me for using that lane? Yes, I understand the premise of not congestion the highways, but why ticket someone for doing the right thing and allow the speeders to pass by doing the wrong? On so many levels this rule (now law) is wrong. It wears out the right lane faster by not evenly distributing the traffic. It makes entering the highway very dangerous because the entrance lane is so congested. It is just plain STUPID in my opinion, but then who asked my opinion.

There are many other such ‘rules’, mandates, suggestions, guidelines, and laws that I encounter each day. However, today I am done! I am going to make my own decision as to what rules I am going to abide by. I am taking a stand! So excuse me, I will be spending the rest of the day cutting the “Do not remove by law” tags off my mattress, pillows, towels, rugs, blankets etc. It really is my choice if I keep those ugly tags there, hanging out and distracting me from lovely thoughts.

Obviously, I needed a laugh today...maybe you did too? Now go find a pesky tag and take your aggression out on it!

Leaders must be servants

 Leadership is a much sought-after quality in life.

Many companies and the military branches look for this quality as they are recruiting. In Tom Kolditz article ‘Why the Military Produces Great Leaders’ he states, “...military leadership is based on a concept of duty, service, and self-sacrifice; we take an oath to that effect. We view our obligations to followers as a moral responsibility, defining leadership as placing follower needs before those of the leader...” With that perspective, it would seem that leadership is really a servant position. A leader’s primary goal is how he can benefit the people following him.

I find this to be true in a family. The father (or in the case of a single parent, the mother) is the leader of the family. While they are responsible for leading the family, they are also responsible for the provision and care of the rest of the family. They must make decisions based on what is best for those in their care. The above quote said that it is viewed as a MORAL obligation. Scripture says,

1 Timothy 5:8 “Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”

We should take our position as a leader very seriously. It is a position with great responsibility, especially as others become imitators and followers. As a leader we have a great amount of influence on those around us. Consider the fashion industry, each season they design new clothing and LEAD us to believe that it is the “in thing”. Everyone is wearing it and so we must want it too. We look to their opinions and believe what they say. I remember pouring through the Spring JC Penny’s catalogs at my grandmother’s home. By leafing through the printed pages, you could see what the whole world was wearing. You knew just how to dress for success or so they led you to believe. The funny thing is what we start out seeing as ludicrous at the beginning of the season, we are often purchasing a few months later. Our sense of style changes according to our fashion industry leaders and their influence on our culture.

That brings to my mind one of my favorite verses,

Proverbs 27:17 “Iron sharpens iron; so a man sharpens a friend’s character.”

I often use this verse when talking with my teens. Many times, they will encounter someone who hopes to DULL their character with immorality, compromise, or worldly behavior. I do not tell them not to be friends with that person UNLESS they are being tempted to join in. Instead, I ask them to make sure they are the IRON that is SHARPENING their friend. Their friends might choose to make a bad choice, but I would hope my girls are willing to stand firm and be a leader in the face of temptation.

I find that leaders are not always liked either. Often their decisions are questioned, and their intentions are mistaken. If a leader is not trusted, then chaos will erupt as is evidenced currently in our American political world. However, if a leader chooses to serve without gain, this mistrust is often overcome.

Mark 10:43 “Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant,”

Just as Christ came to be the King of the Jews and the salvation of the world, he did so with a quiet and gentle love for others. He did not compromise, rather he taught by example. He had empathy, compassion, and a willingness to serve.

We need to remember that phrase “What would Jesus do?” and then “What will I do?”

Sunday is coming...

 I read the phrase "It's Friday, but Sunday is coming". As I am diligently working towards getting the last 4 years worth of photos saved, sorted, labeled, and then printed this is a good reminder. Tonight I am in July 2019...reliving the beginning days of cancer. Each photo grabs my attention. I look at every detail asking myself "did her body look sick?" "Was she too thin? "Is there some clue I missed in the months leading up to her diagnosis?"

So many memories from those days:

* SJ's 8th birthday party in the hospital board room so our family

could stay close to Millie.

* The fun 4th of July basket she received for a very bleak holiday.

*The bright helium balloons she loved to pull down to the bed just to watch them pop back to the ceiling.

So many emotions packed into these memories.

Hold your loved ones close this Thanksgiving week. Realize tomorrow is never promised, but right now is. Live life filled with LOVE.

It is Friday, the time the early Christians were filled with despair as Jesus was crucified. Little did they know Sunday was coming...a day of Resurrection from the death. Triumph over death and sin. A day of rejoicing for all who believe. For Millie, Sunday has come as she met our Savior eternally.

Dry Bones and Redemption

 Walking through a valley filled with death. Not fresh, rotting stenchy death, but old decayed death. Surrounded by bones so dry and so depleted of life that there is no hope. Nothing to cling to... No hope left... That was my life at the age of 15 and I didn't even know it.

The Valley of Dry Bones

37 The hand of the Lord was on me, and he brought me out by the Spirit of the Lord and set me in the middle of a valley; it was full of bones. 2 He led me back and forth among them, and I saw a great many bones on the floor of the valley, bones that were very dry. 3 He asked me, “Son of man, can these bones live?”

I said, “Sovereign Lord, you alone know.”

I was a believer in Jesus from a very young age. I went to church, bible in hand each week with my grandparents. I knew lots of bible stories and even memorized verses. I was seeking... However, at the same time I was seeking to live for Christ, I was seeking the things of this world. I was searching for someone to love me. As an insecure teenage girl, I was desiring for some guy to fill the hole in my heart. That hole that said, “you will never measure up” and “you’re not good enough...no one will ever love you”. I was loved by my momma and my grandparents, but that is not what I was searching for. I wanted that ‘dream come true romance’ that I saw portrayed everywhere in the world...except in my life!

As a ‘Christian teenager’ I had signed the ‘True Love Waits’ commitment card. I knew some things were for marriage only, but... the life I was seeking did not wait. The searching for love said, “Those standards aren’t important. Everyone else is doing it”. I was young, desperately in love with my best friend, scared no one would ever really love me, and making foolish decisions. I was not a young lady grounded in good character. And so, I compromised... Shortly after I found myself expecting a baby. That baby and my best friend changed the course of my life. David assured me that he did love ME! He wanted to raise this baby with me, even though there was no confirmation who the child’s father would be. He stepped into the role of protector, provider, and forever partner. He showered me with that unconditional love my heart so craved. We were so young, just 15 and 17, yet our hearts strived to have a lasting marriage and be good parents. We made so many mistakes along the way that we do not deny, yet GOD DID NOT LEAVE US WITH DRY BONES.

Ezekiel 37: 4-14

4 Then he said to me, “Prophesy to these bones and say to them, ‘Dry bones, hear the word of the Lord! 5 This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath[a] enter you, and you will come to life. 6 I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.’”

7 So I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together, bone to bone. 8 I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them.

9 Then he said to me, “Prophesy to the breath; prophesy, son of man, and say to it, ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come, breath, from the four winds and breathe into these slain, that they may live.’” 10 So I prophesied as he commanded me, and breath entered them; they came to life and stood up on their feet—a vast army.

11 Then he said to me: “Son of man, these bones are the people of Israel. They say, ‘Our bones are dried up and our hope is gone; we are cut off.’ 12 Therefore prophesy and say to them: ‘This is what the Sovereign Lord says: My people, I am going to open your graves and bring you up from them; I will bring you back to the land of Israel. 13 Then you, my people, will know that I am the Lord, when I open your graves and bring you up from them. 14 I will put my Spirit in you and you will live, and I will settle you in your own land. Then you will know that I the Lord have spoken, and I have done it, declares the Lord.’”

Just as the people of Israel had no hope left. As they had been slain and their bones were now dry, so was I. BUT GOD! He breathed his word into my life. He placed mentors, teachers, and friends in my path that were willing to point me in the right direction. God used a tiny baby, a willing young man, a searching young woman, and his word to draw me to him. That baby saved my life! For many years I lived in shame of my decisions. I tried to keep it hidden and make it look good. But that is not God’s way. His way is honesty. His way is freedom from shame.

Proverbs 8:13 “If you hide your sins, you will not succeed. If you confess and reject them, you will receive mercy.”

Let me be clear here. The consequences of my sin were not shameful. The baby has always been the sweet blessing despite my actions. The sin itself, the separation from God and his will, was what filled me with shame. I had to remedy that by confession.

1 John 1:9 “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

I know without a doubt that God has forgiven me because I have asked.

I know he has purified my heart and regenerated it.

I know my testimony will call to some of you, while others it will repel.

Some will understand God’s forgiveness maybe for the first time.

A select few will cast judgement.

That is ok, I have long cast judgement on myself.

However, when I stand imperfectly before the only JUDGE, Jesus blood will have blotted out my iniquities. He has paid the price for me. I am forgiven in heaven.

We walk by faith

 Often when facing something big in my life I will have to write the options down on paper and see the predicted outcomes to better make the right choice. I like to see if I choose to do certain things, then there are expected natural consequence. Some of the outcomes are predictable, while others can catch us off guard. I guess you could say I am a planner at heart.

Being a self-admitted planner is not to say that I do not have faith to pray about it. I know God gives us direction, but he also gives us discernment. We use his word as our basic life map. We use his principles as our compass. We use prayer as our SOS, reaching out to him anytime we are in distress. We also use his position as Captain to bring the daily, regular decisions to the table. We work through the problems step by step, often through fasting, prayer, seeking wise counsel, and lots of study of who GOD is. I do a lot of journaling, especially lately, letting my feelings pour out on to the paper so I can look at them and see if they are TRUTH filled. I know that feelings CAN and WILL lie to you. Decisions should not be made solely on feelings, but on solid FACTS too.

One example of this was when David and I chose many years ago to allow God to plan the size of our family. This was a hard decision. It was about giving up ‘control’ of our lives and trusting that God knew what he was doing. I remember writing it down in two columns, with column 1 being “No reversal” and the 2 being “Reversal”.

Column 1 held things like 1) Done with diapers 2) Traveling 3) Couple weekends 4) Quiet home 5) less expense 6) Keeping in better shape physically

Column 2 listed 1) Starting over after our baby was 5 years old 2) Not sleeping through the night 3) Diapers and potty training 4) More Homeschooling years 5) No Couples traveling 6) Larger expenses 7) Sacrificing body image 8) Noise...lots of noise!

As you know, we chose column 2. We chose to trust that God had a plan for our family size and that we could walk whatever he sent. In the next 18 years, he sent 7 pregnancies, a miscarriage and 6 live births. When the babies came just 2 years apart, we got nervous (you would too!) and we counted just how many children we might have at that rate. When some of the babies were born and headed into the NICU, we wondered “Lord should we stop now?” We asked each other if our trust had changed when things got hard. Both family and friends often made comments about ‘being done’. Complete strangers said the rudest things “If I had that many kids, I would kill myself’ “Do you know what causes that” “Now you have a Herd of kids”. Still we tried to walk in faith.

If you had told us then that one of those ‘reversal babies’ would not live but just 3 short years, do you think it would have changed our minds? I am glad we did not know what was to come. We would have been terrified. Our faith would have been tested in the ultimate test of fear or faith. However, looking back from where we stand now...YES! We would do it all again. Even if we were only given a short time together, it was worth every minute. Every pain, every tear, every fear was all worth knowing a little girl named Millie. I would not change one moment except the pain she had to go through. Honestly, Millie did not know her life was short. She only knew how to live for now. Each day was a joy as she awoke. Each night was a blessing as we rocked to sleep. She was not waiting for someday... She was not worried about if she would marry (I know that thought would have come later in life). She had no money problems to fear. She did not even wonder what next week would bring. She simply lived and loved life. If only we could all be so blessed. To live a simple life of a child...

2 Corinthians 5:7 “For we walk by faith, not by sight:”

***(This post is not a pregnancy announcement incase you are wondering, nor am I suggesting that you have the same path for your walk of faith. The Lord convicts us as individuals and couples differently. Where He convicts and lead YOU is where you go. Where he convicts and leads us is where our walk is.)***

Waiting for that morning joy

 My daily devotional book says “Joy comes in the morning”. A constant reminder that we wait in anticipation for the start of new things. The morning holds the fresh newness that today has lost. In a spiritual sense, the morning is when a new life starts in heaven. What we view as a horrible day, the day Millie closed her eyes here on earth, was truly the best day of her life. The day she met Jesus! Read that again...the worst day of my life was the best day of her life

My stomach has a heavy feeling tonight. An anxious pit of anticipation. Today, I wrote Millie’s book. It’s not finished and it’s not ready for other eyes, but it is laid out page by page. It tells the story of a little girl searching for a big miracle. It’s a children book to be read to other children. I also worked on the adult devotional that you have encouraged me to complete. It too is outlined, waiting for the moment of inspiration to take off. So many things to anticipate in our life. So much to be grateful for, yet the dread of waiting to see Millie again in heaven often leaves me with wet cheeks and an aching heart. To miss your child so intensely is to miss a part of your own heart. It is not easy. It is moment by moment, memory upon memory, wish upon wish, prayer upon desperate prayer that the Lord sustains me as I wait.

Prayers:

Tonight I ask for prayer for my momma friends that have a child in heaven. My heart is so heavy as I pray for them (and myself). Grief is so individual. Some seem fine (they are not), some are overwhelmed, some are just trying to get to the next morning. All of us are waiting with anticipation for that day when we will see our child again.

+2

Stand Alone, but Stand Together

 Many years ago, my older kids learned a song called Stand Alone. It sang “Stand Alone, Stand Alone, I will purpose in my heart to not take part! Make it known that I’m his own...” It’s funny that try as I might, I can not remember the exact lyrics but I can remember that we taught the kids this catchy tune to remind them that in tough situations they needed to follow God and take a stand. Then this morning in my study time, I came across a passage of scripture where Paul and Timothy seemed not to take a stand. Rather they went along with what was commonly accepted at that time. How can that be right? I had to dig in deeper.

In Acts 16: 1-5

Timothy Joins Paul and Silas

16 Paul came to Derbe and then to Lystra, where a disciple named Timothy lived, whose mother was Jewish and a believer but whose father was a Greek. 2 The believers at Lystra and Iconium spoke well of him. 3 Paul wanted to take him along on the journey, so he circumcised him because of the Jews who lived in that area, for they all knew that his father was a Greek. 4 As they traveled from town to town, they delivered the decisions reached by the apostles and elders in Jerusalem for the people to obey. 5 So the churches were strengthened in the faith and grew daily in numbers.

The underlined part really got me thinking. As a believer in Christ, we are free from the Old Testament law as a way of salvation. There is no offerings or sacrifice done in the Old Testament that will cover our sin. Throughout the entire OT there is a foreshadowing of Christ’s coming as the ultimate sacrifice. Only his blood, shed on a cross can atone for our sins. Only HIS blood is an acceptable offering to God the Father. So, if we are no longer under the burden of the law, why was Paul requiring Timothy to uphold the law of circumcision?

If we read the next sentence that is the clue as to why. In certain cultures, we must abide by CULTURAL standards to allow us to be given an audience to be heard. Paul and Timothy were going to be teaching JEWS who believed in keeping the OT laws. They would have nothing to do with Timothy if he had not chosen to keep this law or standard. Timothy knew that he was not under the law of circumcision, but he also knew to share Christ with a Jew, he must honor the Jewish customs. Paul elaborates on this in 1 Corinthians 9:19-23

Paul’s Use of His Freedom

19 Though I am free and belong to no one, I have made myself a slave to everyone, to win as many as possible. 20 To the Jews I became like a Jew, to win the Jews. To those under the law I became like one under the law (though I myself am not under the law), so as to win those under the law. 21 To those not having the law I became like one not having the law (though I am not free from God’s law but am under Christ’s law), so as to win those not having the law. 22 To the weak I became weak, to win the weak. I have become all things to all people so that by all possible means I might save some. 23 I do all this for the sake of the gospel, that I may share in its blessings.

My next line of thought was, “How is this not a compromise? If they are not standing firm for what they believe but changing depending on who they preach to, how can we know how to stand firm?” This is where I had to discern that Paul and Timothy never dishonored Christ’s commands like mentioned in verse 21 above. Meaning if it is a salvation issue, they stood firm and preached truth. If it was one of the many worldly debates that is not against Christ standards, then they erred on the side of causing no offense. If they had been preaching to a society that valued modesty, then they would not have gotten far preaching in a speedo. If they were teaching a group of vegetarians then they probably would not invite them to dinner and serve a pot roast. In today’s society, either a mask or the mention of a political party could bring the same offenses depending on what your beliefs are on either.

So how do we stand alone yet still share our faith with others without them feeling we are casting a ‘judgement’ that everyone shouts about? I have found in my life that I need to be ME. I need to live by what Christ calls me to do. I need to share “this is what Christ is teaching me”, but not expect everyone to be where I am. Christ called David and I to trusting him with my womb and however many babies he would send (or not send) BUT that does not mean I believe he calls everyone to that! He called us to live debt free and owe no man if possible, BUT that does not mean we are judging others who must borrow money. Our walks are so individual. Some are farther along in the meat of the word; others are still in the milk. God does not expect us to be cookie cutter Christians, but he does expect that we will keep his commandments. He does want us continually studying and growing in his word.

Matthew 22:37-39

37 Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.

38 This is the first and great commandment.

39 And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.

You see we can always LOVE those that are different than us, even if we can not agree with them. If we could just remember God loves them just as much as he does us and Jesus died for them just as he died for us. Then our hearts are tender towards each other and we can be KIND no matter what.